jerzgirl

Five months ago today, I lost my mother to congestive heart failure brought on by end stage emphysema and a fall that broke some ribs only 19 days earlier on her 92nd birthday.  It has been a very bumpy ride since then.

My cousin, who was Mom’s power of attorney and then her estate administrator gave me until the end of January to be out of her house.  We buried her on January 3. Her funeral was very nice.  It took place at the small church where she attended when she was able.  Her parents and grandparents as well as my father’s grandparents and great-grandparents are buried there.  Dad’s great-grandfather was a circuit minister there three times in the 1800s.  The church was packed with people wanting to say goodbye to my mother.  I wish the church was that full on Sundays!!  We had a memorial vault in which Mom’s ashes went as well as some memorials to her life.  We handed out flowers for people to lay on the grave.  And, despite it being winter, the day was clear and not overly cold - it turned out to be a perfect day.  A luncheon was held at the companion church because it had a community room the little country church didn’t have.  So many were in attendance - except my cousin and his family.  Despite the announcement at the funeral, he claimed he didn’t know about the luncheon.  Nor did anyone else until that day (other than those who stepped in to help out).  That was really the only dark spot on a bright, albeit, somber day.  

A display of photos of Mom’s life were set up at the luncheon site so people could get an overview of Mom’s life from infancy to old age.  It just really turned out to be a very nice day that I know Mom would have thoroughly enjoyed because of the people and the camaraderie on display.

I didn’t have much help or the ability to get everything out of the house that I had inherited.  A friend loaned me the use of her two children and their friends so I could get the antiques and the organ out along with the bedroom set, but after that I was on my own.  I ended up losing the washer, dryer, dishwasher and the wardrobe that Mom used for her clothes that I wasn’t able to get out before March.  But, what didn’t fit in the apartment is now in a storage unit with more in my landlord’s shed (with him begging us to find a new location).  In the meantime, I’m waiting for the cash settlement on the estate so that I can afford to enlarge the storage unit to fit all the other items.Some of the household goods I gave to my daughter and a few I gave to my son who lives 2300 miles away.  My daughter now has a Wurlitzer organ, a dining room set, and my mother’s rocker recliner.  I gave her half of Mom’s Tupperware (the woman had so much!!)  I kept the kitchen table and chairs, Mom’s bedroom set, her cedar chest, the antique rocker recliner, the antique china cabinet, an antique table and all the contents of the kitchen cabinets and china cabinets.  Lots of incidentals as well.  This was after we had a quickly scheduled estate sale trying to sell off a lot of antique glassware and cookware.  I wasn’t able to sell the antique upright piano or the 30s gas stove or the old farmstead cast iron porcelainized kitchen sink.  Mom and Dad had consolidated her father’s estate items into our home after Benny passed in 1959.  They still had them and still used them.  Nothing went to waste in my family.

At any rate, I am back and I hope to be a regular again here.   It’s been a long, surreal experience these past few months.  Although I’m glad I was there, I hope to never go through it again.

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