I know it seems I dropped off the face of the planet, but in a way I did. On December 29, 2008, my mother, whose caretaker I was, passed away after suffering a fall on her 92nd birthday that created too much stress and trauma for her damaged heart to bear. I was with her at her moment of passing and I have been living my own version of “The Surreal Life” ever since.
Since her passing, I have learned that she not only changed her will to make my cousin her executor, but she removed my children as heirs and left 35% of the estate to this same cousin. I had lived with her for over a year and she left me the entire contents of the home, but my cousin wanted me out of the house in a month - I had to sort through several lifetimes of possessions and be gone in his time frame. I didn’t succeed and he wasn’t happy, but I’m at the point where I don’t much care. I was so angry when I learned that she hadn’t left my kids a single dime (her only grandchildren from her only child) and I’ve been doing a slow, seething burn ever since.
He had given me information on storage units, but he never once said the estate would pay. I had told him I needed help moving (to which he said, before my breath had even finished the thought, “not me!”) because I didn’t want the antiques I planned on keeping broken. I wanted to hire a professional mover and asked if the estate would pay for that. He never answered me. Instead he gave me prices for a storage unit. Well, there wasn’t a Public Storage near my apartment and I wasn’t about to have volunteers move part of my stuff to one town and the rest to another, so I got a unit near my apartment and we moved as much as we could to both places in one trip. I’ve been trying to sell the rest, but not as successfully as I had hoped.
There’s still so much to clean up, so much to pack up, so much to divide and conquer, as it were. No room at the apartment, yet some stuff I’m not willing to part with. It’s just so difficult. Then he shows up and says, the estate will pay for storage for 3 months so you can sort it out. I just looked at him stunned, like, “where the hell was this information a month ago???” He was upset that I hadn’t already moved everything out - but, he never answered if the estate would help pay for anything and I’m not employed, so I obviously can’t afford to store it except short term, so how could I have known? To my knowledge, mind reading isn’t a trait known in our family, so how the hell did he expect me to know this information he was only NOW giving me???
At any rate, it has come to this - I have a car sitting that I can’t drive because even though I asked for money to fix it, he didn’t think I needed any money yet, so he never provided any (despite the fact that I even called the lawyer to ask about it and he still didn’t get a clue). So, finally, I have the first installment on my inheritance and can use that to buy the parts for my car. I traded my old car to someone who will put new brakes in my current car so I can again get back out on the road. Thank God my daughter knows people who have skills because I sure don’t. I will be able to rent another storage unit in which to place all the items I am unable to sell at one more yard sale I plan to have to try to clear out the house’s contents.
My daughter and I have divided most of the property between us. If her brother were closer, he could get the furniture I plan to sell, but it’s difficult to ship a sofa bed and a bedroom set across country. It’s going to be hard enough sending a set of china out to him. The small porcelain demitasse set by Noritake that I sent broke during shipment - how can I expect a service for eight plus all serving dishes to get there intact??
My daughter got the dining room set, curio cabinet, Mom’s organ and Mom’s rocker recliner. I got the antiques - the 100+ yr old china cabinet, the kitchen serving cabinet from the farm house and the platform rocker from the mid 1800s. There’s also a 110 yr old piano in the basement I have YET to find a taker for, yet it is in pristine condition! All they have to do is get it out of the basement. I’m not even asking for money. I just want someone to love it. There is also an antique gas stove, farmhouse sink, a washer and dryer, etc. that I could keep if I wanted to, but where would I put it all? I’m in an upstairs apartment that is already full of the furniture we’ve brought. We can’t fit the stuff in storage - how can we fit all of that? Plus all the incidentals like glassware, pots, pans, humidifier, de-humidifier, etc etc etc. It’s just so overwhelming - and cousin dearest is upset it’s not already cleared out? Give me a flippin’ break!! You’re not willing to help me, yet I’m in the wrong because I can’t get it done overnight. My fat ass! You, who has a fully paid retirement home in the Blue Ridge Mountains gets over 1/3 of my mother’s estate while I, who hasn’t worked in a year, who lived with her taking care of her, gets chastised because I can’t move everything on my own with no money??? Please - someone tell me why I shouldn’t be upset. Tell me why I shouldn’t feel hurt by my mother’s actions….and HIS inactions. Why am I the bad guy in this?
I’m just glad I have places like this to unload my frustrations. Maybe it’s not a perfect solution, but it sure beats breaking things around the house (although I have a lot more things to break, now, don’t I?)
