jerzgirl

Christmas Day was a pretty good day under the circumstances. My daughter called at 7:30 to tell me she was on her way, so I had to hurry and get dressed. Mom was awake and looking forward to breakfast. Tom had brought muffins and cinnamon buns (aka sticky buns) the day before, so she wanted the latter, fried. (It’s a good way to use them up once they get stale, honest.) Most of the rest of the day, Mom slept. She woke up for dinner and ate about half of what I brought her. Shortly thereafter, she had to use the commode. Uh oh. I hoped that what happened on Monday wouldn’t happen again, because I had no one to help me if it did. She couldn’t help it - all the stool softeners and other “encouraging” items they’d given her in the hospital finally took effect. And, she couldn’t move fast enough.

Well, it did happen again. And, I was going to need help dealing with it, because I couldn’t hold her and clean up at the same time. That’s when the real problems began.

My cousin, her pride and joy nephew who can do no wrong in her eyes (yes, I do have some things I am unhappy about), hasn’t even bothered calling her while he’s been in town since Tuesday. So, he wasn’t a problem for me because he doesn’t even involve himself. My daughter wasn’t a problem, although I tried reaching her and couldn’t. She’s always come when she is able as needed. The problem was Hospice who has told me since day one that if I needed any help at all, to call them, no matter what time it is. Right. You can bet I’ll rethink that one next time. You see, when I called them to help me with her because she had pooped all over and I needed help holding her up to clean her and then getting her back into bed, they told me, “I’m sorry, but we have no one on call after 4pm.” Hello? There’s no one on call BEFORE 4pm either since those are regular business hours!!!! That’s the whole principal behind “on call”!!!! I was and am so pissed about this, I don’t know how I can be civil to them again. I told the woman, “Fine, whatever. My mother will just have to sleep on the commode.” Then I slammed the phone down on her. They have YET to call back to see if I got help. The woman had the nerve to ask me, “Don’t you have a family member you can ask to help you?” Yo, dumb (expletive deleted) - if I had a family member helping me or available to help me, do you think I’d be calling YOU for help??? How f-ing stupid can someone be?

I had called them, I had tried calling my daughter, I had called the lady who told me to call if I needed help (not home, yet again), and then Mom’s pastor. I felt bad because it’s Christmas. But, I needed help. Anyway, I finally got her cleaned up (she was able to stand and hold on to her walker just long enough for me to get it done), got a clean robe on her, and she sat back down on the commode because she couldn’t stand any more.

Once she regained her composure and breath, we tried getting her up and turned to lie down. Even though I had gotten her to the commode, she became afraid I would drop her going back, so she wouldn’t let me help her anymore. She asked me to call the neighbor. They weren’t home. So, I called the police. They sent the ambulance crew out (no lights or siren) to help me. They were really good with her, got her positioned just right in the bed, asked if there was anything else they could do, just really nice. They said they would come any time I needed them to come, that was their job. I told them what hospice had said and they were surprised as well. Told me to make sure I told someone. I plan to.

Although I don’t expect this to be an everyday occurrence, I don’t plan to EVER call hospice again unless I absolutely have to. I may even look into another hospice service after this. I haven’t decided.

Mom, on her birthday

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